Sunday, July 25, 2010


My staff are finally coming to their senses. They went to see CATS last night. I am so proud of them. Notice they didn't go see DOGS last night? I think this is a sign that I am their favorite...

I heard that the cats in CATS are making a few changes to their show. The one that I like the most is that they are changing the song and character known as "Old Deuteronomy" to "Old Oliver."


Thursday, July 22, 2010

What a Week!

Sorry I haven't been posting very often...I've been very busy lately!

Here is a brief list of things that I've done:

Created my own facebook page.

Stole...I mean borrowed...some Nerf darts.

Wrestled with Piper.

Learned how to sing.

And it's only Thursday! That means I had to get up off the couch at least once each day. Man, am I an active cat, or what?


Sunday, July 18, 2010

How I Got Here

Do you remember when I told you where I came from? Well you know now that I came from Fayette County. You are the only one that knows where I am really from, except for my staff. I usually tell all of the animals something else. I won't tell you every place I tell them right now, but I will tell you one place that I commonly use. Ready? I'll tell you now.

Me: Hi, I'm Oliver Fabulous Hobbes. What's your name?

Low Class Dog: My name is Skipper.

Me: Skipper? ::What kind of name is that??:: Where are you from?

Skipper: I'm from the pound. My family adopted me when I was three.

Me: Oh really?

Skipper: Yeah. What about you? Are you a rescue, too?

Me: ::I scoff and proceed with a British accent:: Oh goodness, no.

Skipper: No? Then where did you come from?

Me: I, Skipper, escaped from the rain forest in Costa Rica at the young age of nine months. You see, the San Diego zoo was preparing to accept some large, exotic jungle cats. I was one of them.

Skipper: REALLY?

Me: Oh yes. Now let me proceed with my story. The San Diego Zoo had sent some keepers to meet the wranglers half way. I traveled in a large, wooden crate that wobbled, jiggled, shook, and rocked at every second. There were originally eleven exotic cats, but when we made it to the half way point and they moved us, I soon realized that there were only five cats left, including myself.

Skipper: No! How'd they die?

Me: There was a brutal fight. That is when I decided that living in the zoo, was not the life for me. Especially with those creatures! So as soon as they opened my crate to transfer me, I bolted. But before I was free, I had to make it past thirty-seven guards, who all had loaded rifles, three locked doors (we were still on the boat), and swim four miles to shore.

Skipper: You must have been exhausted! What happened next?

Me: Well, Skipper, most cats would have just given up there. But not Oliver Fabulous Hobbes. I walked all of the was from California to Colorado. Then I managed to get a flight from Colorado to Texas. Once I arrived in Texas, I walked all of the way to Tennessee.

Skipper: All of the way to Tennessee?

Me: Yes, Skipper, I walked all of the way to Tennessee. Once I arrived in Tennessee, I climbed in the back of a truck that was parked in a store parking lot. I figured I could take a little cat nap back there. Next thing I knew, I was in the middle of no where! There were HUGE trees around me. Everywhere I looked there were trees as tall as the clouds and grass over my head. I walked for a while until I came up on a road; a long road with lots of curves. I followed that road for what seemed like forever. After I walked for a very long time, I came up on a house. This house was rather large and was colored white. I decided to explore this house and see if they had any food for me to eat.

Skipper: You're a cat. You could've just caught mice, right?

Me: Oh, goodness no! Skipper, an exotic feline like me does not eat rodents. Never. I decided to stay at this house for a little while and see if they left any food around. After a day or two, this lady saw me and offered me some food. "Here kitty kitty want some food? Poor starving baby." I couldn't let her think that I was desperate, so I didn't go into her garage, where the food was. I waited until she went inside, before I quickly scarfed up the food she left. But the lady was watching. As soon as I entered, I heard a loud "vmshhhhhhh" sound. It was the garage door shutting. I was worried that the door would close on my luxurious tail, so I didn't bolt out.

Skipper: Luxurious? ::snicker::

Me: Oh yes, my tail is luxurious.

Skipper: Of course...

Me: Anyways, where was I. Oh yes, after the door shut, the lady came back in the garage, gave me more food, and forced me to eat some more. Then she went inside and I could here her talking to someone on this box looking thing.

A few days later, this family came and tried to pet me and hold me. I did not want to be babied. I was going to be sent to the San Diego Zoo for meowing out loud!

After they left, I thought that all was well. But no. The lady caught me (I actually let her catch me), put me in this wire box, and then put that in the back of her car. After a long car ride, we arrived in this street full of houses. It was kind of strange... She rang this thing by the door that made a loud, "ding!" which made this other lady come to the door.

Skipper: What a strange contraption...

Me: Well, after the woman came to the door, the other lady carried the wire box in and placed it in the room. The two ladies talked in muffled tones for a while, and then the lady that brought me there left. A normal cat would be a nervous wreck by now. But not Oliver Fabulous Hobbes! I was very brave. The next thing I knew, the new lady had unlatched the wire box's door and I was free! In a much smaller house though. This lady turned out to have a family living with her. They were supposedly her husband and kids. This family turned out to be my staff. Some other members of my current staff are the two dogs, Millie & Bosco. The third dog is my partner in crime. His name is Piper. I now live here permanently. What a life!



are great for cat naps...

Friday, July 16, 2010

Oliver F. Hobbes

As you already know, my name is Oliver Hobbes. Something that you don’t know about me is that I have a middle name! It starts with an F. As in Fabulous. My middle name is Fayette. Fayette is kind of a funny middle name, but it has a story. I found my family’s family in Fayette County! Ohmygoodness! I called my staff, my family! Promise me you won’t tell a soul. When I was just a kitten, I was lost in these scary, dark woods. I would have been really lonely, but I had a friend with me. She looked just like me, except she was black and white. She went by the name Trouble and really like the people petting all over her. I couldn’t stand the people petting all over me. All I cared about was getting the food! They all thought that I was scared, timid, shy, and all of that kind of junk. I wasn’t. In fact, I was plenty brave. I was just independent!

When humans ask what my name is, my staff usually respond with, “Oliver” or “Oliver Hobbes.” But when we go to that place that smells all clean and always has animals in it, my staff tells them that my name is Oliver F. Hobbes. I can always hear the animals in the room snicker because they don’t know what the F stands for. They always start guessing. Oliver Fatty Hobbes, Oliver Funky Hobbes, Oliver Furry Hobbes, and Oliver Food-lovin’ Hobbes are just a few I have overheard.

Now, if I get a chance to talk the animals in the building, I always try to tell them what the F stands for. I tell them that my name is either Oliver Fabulous Hobbes, Oliver Fresh Hobbes, Oliver Fancy Hobbes, Oliver Friendly Hobbes, Oliver Frightful Hobbes (when I'm trying to scare them) or Oliver Fantastic Hobbes.

But then my mom has to go and respond to the lady behind the desk, "His name is Oliver Fayette Hobbes." And then all of those despicable animals go and laugh at me. Me! Oliver Fabulous Hobbes! I mean Fayette…


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

My Self Portrait

Well, today I was sprawled out on the couch trying to figure out what to do. Here was my to-do list for the day. I made it myself!

Oliver's to do list:
  • steal at least 2 hair bands (check)
  • walk across piano (check)
  • jump on Mantel (check)
  • explore my staff’s rooms (2/3)
  • borrow some jewelry (check)
  • yank Piper’s tail (check)
  • pounce on poodles (check)
  • splash in my water bowl (check)
  • try to go outside (I made it to the edge of the porch!)
  • wrestle with Piper
  • pet the birdies (check)

You see, I did all of the things today and there was plenty of daylight left. So I got to thinking while I was on the couch about what I could do. And then I had a brilliant idea! Do you know what I decided to do? Do ya? Huh? Huh??? I decided…to draw a self portrait!
Wanna see?
Here it is!!!

Okay… that wasn't really what I drew. Piper helped me with that one.

Here’s the real picture!

Do you like it?
Don't you see the resemblance?


My Namesake

I'm back. Boo! Did I scare you? I don't really care if I did or didn't. But I better have because it sure used a lot of energy to do that. What was I going to talk about? ehhh. I don't remember.

Ouch! It just hit me. I was going to tell you about my namesake. Yes, I know what "namesake" means. I happen to be a genius cat. I just don't always use my powers for what my staff considers "good."

Okay, back to the original topic. I thought I would put a picture up of my namesake. Or at least the one that I consider courageous and nameafterable.

Whew! Just putting these up made me exhau....ste.....d.

My Blog Debut

'ello mortals, Oliver here. I may not post often because, well, try typing something really long using no thumbs. And imagine that there is a lot of hair on those few fingers you do have. And then add some thicker finger pads. And then make it ten times harder. Because I'm a cat. And that's what cats do.
Sorry for the lag. I had to go have my staff fill my bowl up with some kibble. Get this. They only gave me ONE scoop and said something to me like, "Here you go fatty kitty!" I was absolutely disgusted. So, do you want to know what I did? Well I don't care. I'm going to tell you anyway.
Meow, meow, oooophsh. Sorry! Hairball. Aren't they nasty?
Well, anyways, where was I? Oh meow! After they called me fat and gave me a single scoop, I put my paw in the bowl, let out a mighty roar, knocked the bowl off the dryer, and walked away. After I pretended to pout for a few minutes, my stomach was unbearably empty and noisy! So I retreated to the kitchen, flopped on my back, and acted like a poor, innocent, starving kitty. Gets 'em every time! Next thing I knew, they were carrying me into my room and then they gave me TWO scoops! I was thrilled! But I couldn't let my emotions show to those mortals... So what I did was get a few bites and walked away.
I haven't had a very exciting day today, but I swear. Well, actually I don't. Anyways, what I was going to say was that I am going to try to post my daily adventures on this thing. What's it called again? A frog? No. A clog? No. Oh well, I'll think of it later...