Oliver F. Hobbes

As you already know, my name is Oliver Hobbes. Something that you don’t know about me is that I have a middle name! It starts with an F. As in Fabulous. My middle name is Fayette. Fayette is kind of a funny middle name, but it has a story. I found my family’s family in Fayette County! Ohmygoodness! I called my staff, my family! Promise me you won’t tell a soul. When I was just a kitten, I was lost in these scary, dark woods. I would have been really lonely, but I had a friend with me. She looked just like me, except she was black and white. She went by the name Trouble and really like the people petting all over her. I couldn’t stand the people petting all over me. All I cared about was getting the food! They all thought that I was scared, timid, shy, and all of that kind of junk. I wasn’t. In fact, I was plenty brave. I was just independent!

When humans ask what my name is, my staff usually respond with, “Oliver” or “Oliver Hobbes.” But when we go to that place that smells all clean and always has animals in it, my staff tells them that my name is Oliver F. Hobbes. I can always hear the animals in the room snicker because they don’t know what the F stands for. They always start guessing. Oliver Fatty Hobbes, Oliver Funky Hobbes, Oliver Furry Hobbes, and Oliver Food-lovin’ Hobbes are just a few I have overheard.

Now, if I get a chance to talk the animals in the building, I always try to tell them what the F stands for. I tell them that my name is either Oliver Fabulous Hobbes, Oliver Fresh Hobbes, Oliver Fancy Hobbes, Oliver Friendly Hobbes, Oliver Frightful Hobbes (when I'm trying to scare them) or Oliver Fantastic Hobbes.

But then my mom has to go and respond to the lady behind the desk, "His name is Oliver Fayette Hobbes." And then all of those despicable animals go and laugh at me. Me! Oliver Fabulous Hobbes! I mean Fayette…

Meow